NVC & Relationships: From Conflict to Connection
About these workshops
How can it be that in our closest, most intimate relationship the most mess happens?
In the place where there is the most love, painful conflicts reign recurrently. And all of a sudden, who was our dearest support and companion seems now to be our enemy.
And this happens both with someone else, and within ourselves.
In fact, the strongest violence I’ve ever witnessed is in how I relate to myself. If I’d treat my friends like I treat myself, I’d have none.
You know that feeling?
I try to plan the weekend with my partner, and all of a sudden they are convinced I don’t care about them.
I’m enthusiastically trying to decide what things I want to tackle today from my to-do list, and I end up feeling lost and thinking I’m a failure.I wanted to create more safety by bringing up that what my lover did yesterday wasn’t cool for me, and now it seems I don’t matter to them.
So, how to approach these painful conflicts and transform them into an occasion for more intimacy and connection?
We created a series of 4 workshops with different topics that I believe will leave you with useful skills to start transforming these moments:
Workshop Topics:
1) Love and intimacy
Sometimes, we struggle in the dearest intimate connections we have. We’ll start with a compassionate space to acknowledge this.
Then, we will dive deep into the question: What does intimacy mean to me? What is that thing that brings us together?
Finally, we will explore how judgments prevent intimacy and create separation? We will learn how to use them as a door to connect deeper to ourselves and each other.
2) Empathic listening
I like to define conflict as „two people speaking at the same time, while no one is listening“.
Listening is fundamental to exit this constellation, and no one really taught us how to do it.
We are tragically left without the most basic skill to nourish connection in conflict.
In this workshop, we will learn what empathy is and what it is not, how to meet each other where we are at, and how to really be able to listen and enjoy it as well. We will also practice how to navigate a difficult dialogue without losing clarity, compassion and care for both my own and my partner’s needs, independently from their ability to do so, so that we can grow and thrive together.
3) Honesty
“If I can’t be me, there is no one left loving you” Y.M.
The eternal dilemma of being honest.
How can I be fully myself and care for our intimate connection?
How to share the deepest, most uncomfortable truths that create intimacy, without touching pain that could break the connection?
How to ask for our wildest dreams, when they are so vulnerable to reveal?
How to hear a “no” to our deepest wishes?
We will navigate the discomfort of these dilemmas together, while practicing tools to navigate these difficult dialogues.
4) Connecting in conflict
Conflicts tend to get very messy very fast.
Let’s learn how to validate the reality of who we are listening to without abandoning our own. We’ll learn how to make heartfelt, effective apologies without digging ourselves a guilt hole, but create an occasion for repair and closeness.
We will end the workshop series with the most simple and powerful tool to connect us with love: Gratitude.
This is the fuel that allows me to stay in the wheel of giving and receiving.
Let’s learn the pitfalls of how it’s commonly used, and how to express it so that it nourishes our connections.
For whom is this workshop?
Everyone. As if you are not in an intimate romantic relationship with someone else right now, you surely are in an intimate connection with yourself, and maybe others. You know that voice that starts talking in your head if you stop reading for a minute? Maybe the one saying „Which voice is she talking about?“
Teaching style
The workshops will be around 70% practice and demonstrations, and 30% theory. We chose this approach as we believe it supports learning in the body through practice.You’ll be invited to bring up experiences from your life. So, if you want, get ready to get real!
Workshop Dates & Times:
Sundays at K77 Studio, Berlin
30/3 | 17:30 – 19:30 → Love and Intimacy
6/4 | 12:30 – 14:30 → Empathic Listening
13/4 | 18:00 – 20:00 → Honesty
27/4 | 18:00 – 20:00 → Connecting in Conflict
Location: K77 Studio, Kastanienallee 77, 10435 BerlinGoogle Maps link
Entrance Instructions:
- Enter the open main door.
- Pass the second door (if closed, ring the bell K77 and push while ringing).
- Enter the small door at the front left corner of the courtyard.
- Go up to the third floor.
Please park bikes outside the building complex.
Do I have to attend all the workshops?
You get the most transformative effect out of it when you come to all of them, as they do partially build on top of each other.
At the same time, also taking them singularly is meaningful and will leave you with something.
Who?
Martina Pesce – Crafting Dialogues
Hi, I’m Martina. I came in contact with Nonviolent Communication (NVC) through a relationship where I started to grasp the beauty of this tool. After 3 years of self-study and occasional practice, I was touched by how this communication allowed me to connect with my mum in conflict, so strongly that I felt love for her for the first time in 20 years.
Unsatisfied with the lack of mental health support in the neuroscience research field, I decided to switch careers and dive deep into NVC. I trained as a mediator, counsellor and trainer at the Connecting2life school (Yoram Mosenzon). It was a two-year-long process of embodying the tool and then learning how to transmit it so that it could sink in the body. For more than a couple of years I’ve been holding my workshops, courses, and 1:1 practice.
My approach is based on practice and embodiment.
I found NVC very revolutionary and with that respect, I like to let sink in our system a few bits of info at the time, rather than an overwhelming waterfall of theory.
I have also been teaching Tantra Yoga (1 on 1 guidance, tantric hatha yoga, yoni massages) since a bit less than a year.
Matthias Flury
Hi. My name is Matthias. To be honest with you, I’m incredibly hesitant to write this short biography about myself. Part of the resistance comes from a fear of not being enough – it’s an insecurity that often comes alive since for many years of my life my need for connection wasn’t met, no matter what I tried. Out of this experience I’m shy to show and present myself, even to an unknown reader, to not go through the pain of rejection again. Another source for this hesitation is that I’ve got an idea of how I need to present myself here as a teacher. “I need to sell myself well and in a way that will make you trust me and curious to learn from me”. And I’m worried that I’ll try to perform as something I’m not in order to achieve that. Underneath the pressure of trying to be perfect I’m certain I’ll loose something incredibly important. I’ll lose connection to myself and with that any hope of actually contributing value to you.
That’s why I’ll start this introduction of myself like this. I’m looking forward to meeting you and exploring together how we can connect to our feelings and unknown desires. How we can hold space and lovingly meet each other exactly where we are in our authentic selves. This is the place where relationships gain intimacy and depth, where love grows and where life begins to make sense.
Just in case you actually want to know about my background: I started learning about NVC in 2019, took my first lessons with Empathie Stadt Zurich in 2020, and completed my education in 2023 with a course about teaching and embodying NVC by CNVC-Trainer Yoram Mosenzon. I regularly support NVC-teachers as an assistant in their courses and occasionally teach myself. If you have any questions you can reach me at matthias.flury@mail.ch .
How much?
1 workshop:Reduced: 20, Standard:25, Supporter: 30
2 workshops:Reduced: 30, Standard:40, Supporter: 50
3 workshops:Reduced: 40, Standard:55, Supporter: 70
4 workshops:Reduced: 50, Standard:70, Supporter: 90
Or anything in between.
If money is an issue and would prevent you from participating, please contact us at martinapescenvc@gmail.com.
How do I book?
You can PayPal/transfer the money to us and write an email at martinapescenvc@gmail.com with your name and the workshop(s) you are registering for.
PayPal: martinapescenvc@gmail.com
Bank details:
Name: MARTINA PESCE
IBAN: IT65 Z036 4601 6005 2631 6114 217
BIC: NTSBITM1XXX
If you don’t want to register in advance, you can take the risk and show up at the door with cash.